it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
