Non-Jews are for practice
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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