why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
