thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
