ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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