I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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