Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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