i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
