it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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