how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize