it wasn't lemon gatorade
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
