maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
