just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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