she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Randomize
