I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
