If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
