Small penises have feelings too.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
