Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize