I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
