Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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