belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
