Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
where are my eyebrows?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
