omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
