lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
this will be a night to untag.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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