I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
