I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
