I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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