wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
