school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
