yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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