That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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