Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
