i was born a porn star she said
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
