he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
