I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
