no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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