either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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