where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
he puts the penis in happiness.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
