hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
