we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
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I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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