Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
