worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
