what day is it and did you see me today?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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