Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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