I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
