how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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