dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I need help removing her.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
