ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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