She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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