Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
