respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
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