Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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