drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Randomize
