Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
