He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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