Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
