Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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