Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
