we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Randomize
