tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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