is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
