i permit you to call me
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't deserve a penis
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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