So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
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Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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