you guys were way drunker than both of me
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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