I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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