Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
