kristin has been a bad kristin
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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