maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
