Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
