I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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